I'll give up forever to touch you.

I could care less for who you are, why should I care and waste my time dwelling on someone who has never been here for me? My life has been fine without you, it will always be. Haa, I'm so full of shit. You're the reason why I am continuously awake at night, never so often do I think of you. I can't. The things people say about you makes me think more and more of you. I thought I never wanted to see you because of how much pain you have caused me, pain that I thought in no extent existed; but lately all I want is to meet you. I'm curious and upset. I really couldn't give much of a care for the consquences anymore, but I am terrified of breaking down in front of you. More importantly, wanting the impossibilities. I'm not so sure if I will ever get to know or see who you are. That overthrows me. I don't know if I can manage to wait any longer, what if something were to happen to you? The thought just bring more tears to my eyes.



On no occasion do I ever want to believe the obvious. Yehh, I'm naive. I'm aware you aren't worth my time, I make too many efforts but you don't even seem to care. You say cute things just for the hell of it, I'm sure you say it to all the little girls after you, ha. "Maybe he doesn't know what to expect either", maybe. Expectations of me will only lead to disappointments. I'm too indecisive, I will change my mind about something every five seconds. Get over it. Life is way better unexpected anways. The fact that you've somehow managed to bring my happiness back into existence causes me to continue on trying. Maybe things will clear up when I see you, fugure out if you meant what you've said. I wish you would make more efforts, make it easier for me to believe in you. I over think things too often and doubt way too much; the less I hear from you, the more I doubt and lose feelings. Gaininging that consciousness and sensibilities I once had requires an amount of extraordinary effort. But the very moment I hear that adorable voice of yours, all those feelings comes back impetuously. You make my heart skip beats and I can't help but smile at the thought of being in your arms soon. Someone please bring me home to see this boy of 'mine'.



My friend tells me to google your name, I 'lmao' at the things that came up. "...and I'll fuck you in California". Well, that just hurts. It was three days after you told me how much I meant to you. Apparently, I wasn't wrong about you saying all these bull to almost every girl there is. I'm not sure if you're just saying it, because I do say things I don't mean but not ever in this concept. Screw the paragrah above, I'm not going to waste my time on some boy that's possibly going to play me. You barely even talk to me anymore, makes me feel like you found someone else to call "your baby". You are so full of shiiiiittttt, it makes me sick.